Changing patterns of Intimate relationships and courageous acts for change in marital and other key relationships.
These books were an integral part of my life once I became aware of a vicious cycle called the Drama Triangle developed by Stephan Karpman, M.D. There are 3 cycles in this triangle one of which is the Victim, the second one is the Rescuer and the third part of the triangle is the Persecutor. These books taught me more about social structures which are already in place with three other people, as they interact with each other in a manipulation game. I was in one of these triangle cycles for a long time. There were 3 of us in this triangle and we changed places as the needs arose to stay connected in this dysfunctional triangle way of living.
The Victim role is played out as "poor Me" I am the victim here. I am powerless, helpless to all things happening in my life. I was super sensitive and couldn't seem to help myself out of the rut I was stuck in.
Rescuer: The Rescuer is the Marshmallow Parent: Most times if I wasn't the Victim in this triangle I was the marshmallow parent who enabled others to walk all over me as I tried to help them out of situations I felt were not good for them. I did have strict rules, but was always giving in, so others would like me. I worked hard to help and take care of my husband, my kids, other members of the extended family, as we were in a family cattle ranching business.
Prosecutor role is the Critical Parent role, always blaming the Victim and the Rescuer for creating more problems. This role player is rigid, has no flexible stance, it is his/her way or the highway. Prosecutor keeps Victim feeling insecure, blaming the rescuer for not doing enough for others. In this Triangle our minds are intertwined with feeling bad about ourselves all the time, construing up images of our unworthiness.
The Drama Triangle is a no win situation on all three sides and someone needs to back out, stop the cycle from going round and round. I did back out of the original triangle that had been formed between the three of us, as I had been taking self development courses and became aware of the debilitating feelings that kept us going round and round year after year for 18 years. I was at a low ebb at that point and began talking with a fellow ranch-woman who said she had been seeing a Therapist in Calgary and I could come with her on her next session and get help.
That first session began a life long journey into working on myself from the inside out, learning alternative modalities of healing such as Reiki, BodyTalk, Yuen, EFT, etc... It has been a journey of self-discovery that we all have faulty belief systems about ourselves, like feeling unworthy, not good enough, doubting our abilities at being a mother, a wife, of any value to anyone.
My personal development work has changed me so much in my dealings with creating healthy relationships with my family, friends and colleagues, I am continuously learning more about who I am becoming as a person and life long learner. I have begun to really like who I am being now. The learning and being on the green growing edge of knowing who I was born to be, has been very empowering. My Mission and Vision is to help others to learn about life through the cooking classes and other life skill building we do within the confines of this website. We are building self confidence and a knowing that life is a journey and learning about our lives and how to help others never ends. Ask yourself, What Would I Love? Then go out and be who you love being, do what you love doing and have what you love in your life. Dance Brilliantly, Love Freely, Dream Big!
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